Hidden Tracks by Zoe Lee

Author:Zoe Lee [Lee, Zoe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Foolish Endeavors LLC
Published: 2019-10-22T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Astrid

Astrid had shocked herself, saying what she had, but one gasped, raspy syllable, just warped by the shut door between them, made Astrid shiver.

With lust.

A denial—no—wasn’t usually something that sets one shivering with lust, but there it was. Because he wasn’t denying her, he was actually confirming that he didn’t feel any shock at her declarations, and he was also confirming that he wasn’t disgusted or outraged.

A denial in that rasp… it was, really, an affirmation that her declaration pleased him.

Not that she’d said it in order to please him, because it was the absolute truth, but it was all the more powerful because he was pleased by her truth. Her truth made his voice raspy—and it wasn’t caused by anger or disgust, it was a sexy rasp, an aroused rasp.

All of the potential that had been drawing more and more taut snapped tense between them, despite the physical barrier between their eyes and their bodies at the moment.

“I had so much love then, you know,” she pushed out through a throat thick with exhilarated hope, letting desire shamelessly slide like molasses throughout her nervous system, expanding her skin cells to bring her that atomic distance closer to Seth. “I was overflowing with it; nothing made me happier than to gift it to others, even if it was only temporary. Barley’s desire was more of a hunger—not a black hole, but he took—he enjoyed every bite, of course, but was more hedonistic, a little more cynical, somehow.”

She paused for a moment, both worried that including Barley in her narrative would turn Seth off and that it would turn him on, some sort of… rockstar hard-on, though her rational mind knew that that was irrational, because he’d shown his desire for her plenty.

“And even the ones that other people might call groupies deserved it,” she went on.

The words came from somewhere deep, as if she’d been drafting this essay in her mind, in her heart, for so long that she didn’t need to think about it before she strung the thoughts together like a strand of pearls. There was something driving her, some compulsion to tell someone after so long. Something driving her to tell Seth, specifically, to show him who she had been when she was at her freest, at her best, even though she was stronger now.

“But when it was time for Kerri to go to school, Barley couldn’t structure the band’s touring schedule around that, so they had to travel without us. It was so different. Sometimes Barley would send people to me, from his bed to ours at home, and it was enough, for a lot of years, to bridge between our bodies and our voices when we couldn’t be together physically. But as the years went by, all of it became so much harder. Barley was off basking in the love and the energy fans poured on him, but I was in Chicago shielding Kerri from paparazzi on her first day of kindergarten and trying

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